Category: Inspirational

I didn’t realize how my decision to return to school would bring out such strong opinions in people.  I’ve had a lot of people get very excited and seen their chests swell at the idea.  I’ve also had people tell me it’s ridiculous and a waste, and I have the strong impression that their idea of me getting out somewhere around 40 is as ridiculous as the world’s oldest Titanic survivor deciding she wants to be a competitive ice dancer.  Both of these reactions, the posititve and the negative, confuse me.  I’m not entirely sure why I see life as a series of moments and stages, and other people see it as begining, work, and end.  At this stage, I just want to go to school.

I’ve had trouble explaining this to my husband as well, who is very supportive of me getting an education and being able to have the career I want.  He doesn’t understand why “because I want to” is a valid reason for an adult.  He also didn’t have a Mom who returned to school when she was my age, or get to see her look of bliss when talking about her English Lit class.  I did, and I understand now how valubale this all is.  I didn’t think it was a big deal when my Mom went back to school when I was 10, and got confused then when people would freak out about it, asking how she could possibly keep it all together.  There were 4 of us kids, my Dad worked very hard to support all of us, I made dinners for the family and we all had chores.  It’s just the way it was.  When she finished and was working at her first tech company, that was just the way it was too.   Now she’s the one supporting the house doing something she loves, and my Dad gets a lot more time doing what he likes to do, and he’s happy.  And it’s just the way it is.

I’m going to school to get a degree so that I can work somewhere in the field of psychology.  Where doesn’t matter at this point, because for now I’m just going to enjoy going to school.  It’s just the way it is.

I think I may like Januaries.  Three years ago I met Mr. Dreamy.  More acurately, I requested Mr. Dreamy as a Facebook friend because the right column of my home screen suggested I add him, then he thought I was foreign and in need of a Visa by way of marriage to him.  Once he realized I was (somewhat) local, he started talking to me and we ended up getting married.

That was last January, a year later on the day we met.  We drove to Banff and got married by an officiant we had just met, a witness we payed, and a photographer.  It was seriously the most emotional and beautiful moment of my life thus far.

This January, I will be re-entering the school system to finish up my degree.  I have always wanted a university degree, but I wasn’t focused or committed enough to finish it in my early twenties.  Instead I got married and worked crappy jobs, moved around a lot, bought a house, got a dog, dealt with my brother dying, started a business, got divorced, gave the dog away, went bankrupt, moved in with my parents, cried a lot, made a lot of friends, eventually found an amazing job, slowly found joy, met Mr. Dreamy and moved to Alberta.  Throughout all this I think I’ve learned who I am and what I’m for.  I can do a lot of things, but one thing makes me feel happier and more fulfilled than anything else, and that’s helping people navigate their lives: psychology. I finally figured that out a few months ago.  And so, being a woman of action, I applied to a school I wasn’t sure would accept me, and made a plan I didn’t know would work.  And here I am.

I quit my night job a few weeks ago and quit my day job a few days ago.  I am enrolled and the tuition is payed.  I am terrified.  Lucky for me, I have parents who think I can do anything I want to do and actively help me do whatever I need to do, like live in their house for free while I’m a student. I also have a husband who trusts me and wants to support me in becoming the woman I was created to be.  He means it, he even wrote it in his wedding vows.  So even though this is pretty crazy, I think that I can do it, and do it well.  Mr. Dreamy and I will be apart until he finishes up the renovations and sells the house.  That part will be very hard, I know.  We’re doing it anyway.

I love my life.

Yes, it’s the name of a Tegan and Sarah song.  It’s also a great question; where does YOUR good go?  Here’s the thought: we all have an huge capacity for doing good.  So that means everything from making someone feel good about themselves to devoting your life to AIDS research, and everything in between.  Most of us, myself included are focused on being happy, which if we really think about it, is a by-product of being productive.  So why not focus on being productive?  I don’t mean having fun or making money, I mean being productive by making the world you live in better.  By saying a kind word to a stranger.  By throwing a party and raising money for orphanages in Chernobyl.  By volunteering at a local soup kitchen once a week.  The possibilities are endless, and every single option will do two things: it will improve the lives of others, and it will make you feel better.

So the present question is this:  What are you currently doing in your life that takes the place of serving?  Are you watching tv?  Are you working?  Are you keeping yourself so busy with activities and tasks that you have no time to do what’s important???

Where does YOUR good go?  I’d love answers from whoever’s brave enough to respond.

I’m not sure what it is, but lately I’ve spoken to a bunch of people who just don’t get it.  AT ALL.  Ok, I don’t get everything, far from it…but something I have learned in my 29 years is how things work in business, relationships, life.  I know this sounds arrogant, but it’s really quite simple: it’s about Connection.

Now, let me give you some background on me.  I have always, always liked and been interested in people.  I make friends easily, because I genuinely like almost every person I meet for one reason or another.  It’s not an act to accomplish my own ends, I want to know who you are, what you like, where you come from…all of it.  I learned this from my father, who would often take me to work tile-setting with him, and I would watch him interact with people.  The man has friends everywhere, because he’s friendly.  He’s genuine.  He’s interested.  In my childhood, I learned to love people.  In my adulthood, I learned that this single skill can mean the difference between success and failure.  Cuz guess what?  The world is run by people.  The more of them you know who like you, the better chance you have of making an impact.  Simple, right?  Every person has a choice of who they want to work with, hire, or buy from.  Let’s be honest, products and services aren’t that different anymore.  You’re 100% more likely to choose the guy you like over the guy who’s a jerk or who you’ve never met.

So what does this translate to?  Spending time on relationships.  You’re better off doing that than spending time looking online for a job or writing your name on a service sign and sticking it on the side of the road.  You’re better off meeting one new person than watching a tv show at home.  Because relationships do take time, yes…but making an impact can take a second.  And showing up is half the battle.  Now personally, I have to get this off my chest.  I just had a ridiculous exchange with someone who, at one time was my friend.  He commented that my life is too easy because I have had vehicles bought for me.  Just after I started my business, my marriage (and subsequently my life) completely fell apart, and I lost everything while trying to maintain an image of success.  I’ve had a lot of help in my life, and it was those few years when I needed it the most.  Conversely, I have also worked harder than most people my age at my own business, spent 3 years networking consistently in the lower mainland, volunteered at numerous different organizations, used my connections to get several well paying jobs that I have been qualified for through school and a lot experience, and have used a fluke situation to now land my dream job at an organization I’m proud of.  Did I get help?  Definitely.  Did I use every opportunity that came my way to develop a life for myself that I’m proud of?  Yes.  I refuse to feel spoiled for getting help when I needed it, and I refuse to not help others when they need it.  This is how life works.  You can stay at home, feel sorry for yourself and lament the supposed ease of other’s situations…or you can get out there, use what you got and make a life you love.

It’s up to you.