Category: Inspirational

I didn’t realize how my decision to return to school would bring out such strong opinions in people.  I’ve had a lot of people get very excited and seen their chests swell at the idea.  I’ve also had people tell me it’s ridiculous and a waste, and I have the strong impression that their idea of me getting out somewhere around 40 is as ridiculous as the world’s oldest Titanic survivor deciding she wants to be a competitive ice dancer.  Both of these reactions, the posititve and the negative, confuse me.  I’m not entirely sure why I see life as a series of moments and stages, and other people see it as begining, work, and end.  At this stage, I just want to go to school.

I’ve had trouble explaining this to my husband as well, who is very supportive of me getting an education and being able to have the career I want.  He doesn’t understand why “because I want to” is a valid reason for an adult.  He also didn’t have a Mom who returned to school when she was my age, or get to see her look of bliss when talking about her English Lit class.  I did, and I understand now how valubale this all is.  I didn’t think it was a big deal when my Mom went back to school when I was 10, and got confused then when people would freak out about it, asking how she could possibly keep it all together.  There were 4 of us kids, my Dad worked very hard to support all of us, I made dinners for the family and we all had chores.  It’s just the way it was.  When she finished and was working at her first tech company, that was just the way it was too.   Now she’s the one supporting the house doing something she loves, and my Dad gets a lot more time doing what he likes to do, and he’s happy.  And it’s just the way it is.

I’m going to school to get a degree so that I can work somewhere in the field of psychology.  Where doesn’t matter at this point, because for now I’m just going to enjoy going to school.  It’s just the way it is.

I think I may like Januaries.  Three years ago I met Mr. Dreamy.  More acurately, I requested Mr. Dreamy as a Facebook friend because the right column of my home screen suggested I add him, then he thought I was foreign and in need of a Visa by way of marriage to him.  Once he realized I was (somewhat) local, he started talking to me and we ended up getting married.

That was last January, a year later on the day we met.  We drove to Banff and got married by an officiant we had just met, a witness we payed, and a photographer.  It was seriously the most emotional and beautiful moment of my life thus far.

This January, I will be re-entering the school system to finish up my degree.  I have always wanted a university degree, but I wasn’t focused or committed enough to finish it in my early twenties.  Instead I got married and worked crappy jobs, moved around a lot, bought a house, got a dog, dealt with my brother dying, started a business, got divorced, gave the dog away, went bankrupt, moved in with my parents, cried a lot, made a lot of friends, eventually found an amazing job, slowly found joy, met Mr. Dreamy and moved to Alberta.  Throughout all this I think I’ve learned who I am and what I’m for.  I can do a lot of things, but one thing makes me feel happier and more fulfilled than anything else, and that’s helping people navigate their lives: psychology. I finally figured that out a few months ago.  And so, being a woman of action, I applied to a school I wasn’t sure would accept me, and made a plan I didn’t know would work.  And here I am.

I quit my night job a few weeks ago and quit my day job a few days ago.  I am enrolled and the tuition is payed.  I am terrified.  Lucky for me, I have parents who think I can do anything I want to do and actively help me do whatever I need to do, like live in their house for free while I’m a student. I also have a husband who trusts me and wants to support me in becoming the woman I was created to be.  He means it, he even wrote it in his wedding vows.  So even though this is pretty crazy, I think that I can do it, and do it well.  Mr. Dreamy and I will be apart until he finishes up the renovations and sells the house.  That part will be very hard, I know.  We’re doing it anyway.

I love my life.

Yes, it’s the name of a Tegan and Sarah song.  It’s also a great question; where does YOUR good go?  Here’s the thought: we all have an huge capacity for doing good.  So that means everything from making someone feel good about themselves to devoting your life to AIDS research, and everything in between.  Most of us, myself included are focused on being happy, which if we really think about it, is a by-product of being productive.  So why not focus on being productive?  I don’t mean having fun or making money, I mean being productive by making the world you live in better.  By saying a kind word to a stranger.  By throwing a party and raising money for orphanages in Chernobyl.  By volunteering at a local soup kitchen once a week.  The possibilities are endless, and every single option will do two things: it will improve the lives of others, and it will make you feel better.

So the present question is this:  What are you currently doing in your life that takes the place of serving?  Are you watching tv?  Are you working?  Are you keeping yourself so busy with activities and tasks that you have no time to do what’s important???

Where does YOUR good go?  I’d love answers from whoever’s brave enough to respond.

I’m not sure what it is, but lately I’ve spoken to a bunch of people who just don’t get it.  AT ALL.  Ok, I don’t get everything, far from it…but something I have learned in my 29 years is how things work in business, relationships, life.  I know this sounds arrogant, but it’s really quite simple: it’s about Connection.

Now, let me give you some background on me.  I have always, always liked and been interested in people.  I make friends easily, because I genuinely like almost every person I meet for one reason or another.  It’s not an act to accomplish my own ends, I want to know who you are, what you like, where you come from…all of it.  I learned this from my father, who would often take me to work tile-setting with him, and I would watch him interact with people.  The man has friends everywhere, because he’s friendly.  He’s genuine.  He’s interested.  In my childhood, I learned to love people.  In my adulthood, I learned that this single skill can mean the difference between success and failure.  Cuz guess what?  The world is run by people.  The more of them you know who like you, the better chance you have of making an impact.  Simple, right?  Every person has a choice of who they want to work with, hire, or buy from.  Let’s be honest, products and services aren’t that different anymore.  You’re 100% more likely to choose the guy you like over the guy who’s a jerk or who you’ve never met.

So what does this translate to?  Spending time on relationships.  You’re better off doing that than spending time looking online for a job or writing your name on a service sign and sticking it on the side of the road.  You’re better off meeting one new person than watching a tv show at home.  Because relationships do take time, yes…but making an impact can take a second.  And showing up is half the battle.  Now personally, I have to get this off my chest.  I just had a ridiculous exchange with someone who, at one time was my friend.  He commented that my life is too easy because I have had vehicles bought for me.  Just after I started my business, my marriage (and subsequently my life) completely fell apart, and I lost everything while trying to maintain an image of success.  I’ve had a lot of help in my life, and it was those few years when I needed it the most.  Conversely, I have also worked harder than most people my age at my own business, spent 3 years networking consistently in the lower mainland, volunteered at numerous different organizations, used my connections to get several well paying jobs that I have been qualified for through school and a lot experience, and have used a fluke situation to now land my dream job at an organization I’m proud of.  Did I get help?  Definitely.  Did I use every opportunity that came my way to develop a life for myself that I’m proud of?  Yes.  I refuse to feel spoiled for getting help when I needed it, and I refuse to not help others when they need it.  This is how life works.  You can stay at home, feel sorry for yourself and lament the supposed ease of other’s situations…or you can get out there, use what you got and make a life you love.

It’s up to you.

Absolutely everything and everyone has a story.  We rarely think about it, but it’s true.  The chair you’re sitting in, the man who pumps your gas, the newspaper you read every morning: they all came from somewhere.  Every single thing that is created must have a creator.  And since I was a little girl, I have been fascinated by the lives of anyone and everyone who changes the world in some way.  The way I see it, we’re all born into something: it could be wealth and priviledge, talent, amazing opportunity, beauty…whatever.  We’re all born into a set of circumstances, and all born with gifts.  I read a quote once that I loved that said “with every child that is born, the potential of the human race is born again”.  I truly believe that, because every single person has the potential to change the world.  You may not believe it, but you do.  There are some characteristics I’ve recognized in great leaders, and here they are:

1)      Great people are often born in less than great circumstances.  We’ve all heard stories about people born into poverty, civil unrest, or in a time when their gender or race had no rights.  People who are destined to be great never accept the circumstances they’re born into; they fight them.  And because they are great, others will follow.  Like Emmeline Pankhurst, a suffragette who rallied women to fight for the vote, or Dr. Martin Luther King, who united so many Americans to put an end to racial segregation.  These people didn’t look around them, shrug, and go about their business.  They devoted their lives to making things right in the worlds they lived in.

2)      Great people create opportunities where others see none. I talk to so many people who will tell me what they really and truly want to do with their lives…and then with their next breath tell me why they can’t.  I find this endlessly frustrating.  The world is full of stories of people like Queen Elizabeth I, who was the ruler of England in a time where women were property!  Men were trying to assassinate her for much of her reign because she was a woman, she was protestant, she was a bastard…but instead of running away and hiding or laying down and crying, she became one of the greatest rulers England ever had. 

3)      Great people give up their own comfort to accomplish what they need to.  It’s very comfortable to stay home, not step up, and never do anything you’re not completely sure of.  And that is our modern affliction: comfort.  Why fight for anything when you could just stay home and watch Oprah?  It’s just too hard.  Well, it’s a very good thing it wasn’t too hard for Winston Churchill to go into politics, become Prime Minister and enter the second World War, or the world could be completely different right now.

4)      Great people embrace fear and lean into pain.  Human beings like what’s easy; of course we do!  We want to get rich quick, avoid pain as much as possible, and find the quickest way to have a simple, happy life.  It’s not wrong to want that, it IS wrong to live that way though.  Fear and pain are a part of life, and if we avoid them, we’ll have to face them some day anyway.  I say better to face them head-on when they come, like the Mirabal sisters fighting the fascist dictatorship controlling the Dominican Republic.  These sisters risked their lives to be leaders in a time when they were definitely not supposed to be; they gave their people hope that there was a better way to live.  They were killed for standing up for what they believe in…but now the Dominican Republic is free.

5)      Great people are not always happy people, but are always passionate people.  My ex husband once told me that I’m the kind of person who will never be happy.  I think he meant it as a sad observation, but I took it as an observance of potential greatness.  No one who is content with the status quo will ever change the world.  Now, of course you can be happy and see things that are wrong with the world.  But the question is, what are you willing to risk to change what you see?  If you’re too happy with what you have, the likelihood of you screwing that up to devote your life to a cause goes way down.  This is why most people will get married, have kids, work at a job, buy stuff, and die.  And that will be their lives.  I used to really wish that was what I wanted…and I wondered what was wrong with me that most people I knew were content to get “good jobs” and not need to search for more and I did.  Why most people gave up wanting to change the world in Elementary School and I still can’t.  Why people I know can stay in relationships that make them less than they are…but I didn’t.  I don’t get any of it, not at all.  And now that I’m older, I’m really, really glad I don’t.  Some of the greatest artists, politicians, and scientists on earth have been desperately unhappy for various reasons; but they’ve all been passionate.  They’ve all been driven to contribute.  They’ve all changed the world in their own way.  Depression is not a prerequisite for greatness…but neither is happiness a reward of it.

So this is my new blog focus: once a week, starting this Sunday, I will present you, dear reader, with a biography on one great person.  He or she will not always be good or just, but will always be a leader, and a catalyst for some kind of change.  These people will have done things as seemingly small as inventing breakfast cereal, or as big as leading a country into a golden age.  The characteristics modeled by these great leaders should be meditated upon, because it’s likely you’ve not met anyone in person who has them.  In a world of increasing apathy and disconnectedness, we need to learn about these leaders to understand what is possible, what is desirable, and what is in danger of being lost in our society full of comforting distractions.  We don’t have less to fight in our modern age…we’ve just all been lulled to sleep by consumerism and entertainment. 

It’s time to wake up.

It is absolutely ridiculous how many peanut M&M’s I ate today.  The only thing more ridiculous is the fact that I don’t like peanut M&M’s that much.  I like them, just not more than cheesecake (which I had last night), homemade chocolate chip cookies, or ice cream.  There’s a party bag of these peanut M&M’s in my house though, and no one home but me, so I’ve been eating them all day.

The thing is, I’ve been doing that a lot a lot lately.  Eating for no reason.  Mostly out of boredom.  And yes, you can tell.  At least I can tell.  I’m the heaviest I’ve been in quite some time.  Usually I gain weight because I’m depressed, but…I’m not depressed right now.  I think I’m just forgetful.  See, there are things I want in life.  I want to help people, I want to be creative, I want to write.  I want to be able to go anywhere and do anything and not have a self-conscious thought in my head.  What I really want is to be free to pursue anything, and not let anything or anyone hold me back; least of all myself.  And so we have the fence post theory; my pastor spoke about it once at church.  We all have a destination in our heads of where we’d like our lives to end up.  If you don’t have that, you need to think about it.  I want to have a life full of stories.  I want to try out tons of different jobs, live in different cities, study different things…I want to be spontaneous and free and able to respond to my environment appropriately when called on to do so.  If I have to speak, attend big gatherings, meet a whole bunch of new people, whatever, I want to always be ready to do that.  And so, the fence post: I know where I want to go.  So every choice I make in my life needs to line up with the reality I want to create like fence posts; they need to make a straight line toward my last fence post.  Any choice I make that does not line up with my desired end is like a fence post planted way off course.  Lately I’ve been eating bad things way too much, making me feel sick and gigantic and not myself.  Now why would I do that?  It makes no sense, right?  The only reason to plant fence posts any old place is because I’ve lost sight of that last fence post.  And indeed, I have.

And so I started thinking today that not only do I need to stop eating crap, I need to get a trainer.  A trainer is definitely in line with my last fence post.  Good thing most of my latest choices (sewing class, chess club, writing more) other than the eating thing line up as well.

Dear you,

I got home from Cuba this past week, and I just have to share with you what God is doing! First, it’s clear to me in a whole new way the importance of the work WorldServe is doing in these communities; we have such a different idea of church in North America than they do in impoverished nations. I have been going to church my whole life, grew up in a Christian home, I went to Bible College…and I have never experienced a community of believers like I did this past week! The Cubans’ faith in the face of the social and economic struggle they deal with every day is just amazing. We met so many Cuban Christians who were struggling with poverty, family troubles, a government who’ll use any excuse to cut them off from travelling, expel them from school, and even put them in jail. In the face of all of it, they rejoice. They know that all they have comes from God, and they rejoice. They’re faithful to God, and ask for more blessings by fasting and praying earnestly. Seeing their faith in action, experiencing church services and fellowship with them…it really influenced me in my Christian walk! God showed me what our relationships and our church services could look like…and it gave me hope. I want to share what I saw with everyone I meet!

The biggest thing I realised while in Cuba is how we could use some more Cuba back home. I’m really looking forward to sharing what our group experienced with churches, youth groups, women’s groups and anyone else God sees fit to put in my path. We have some events set up for the next few months where I’ll be speaking on what it’s like to be a Christian in Cuba, as well as how we can all get connected to believers in other countries as the body of Christ. I have so many stories to share about how God is providing building materials, food and ministry opportunities over there in spite of what seem to be insurmountable odds. Cubans don’t see them as insurmountable though…they see them as bumps in the road that God will navigate for them. And they’re right!

The kind of things I’ll be sharing with churches and small groups will be stories like meeting Lucianno, a prison Chaplan, at the Assemblies of God office. Lucianno used to be supported by WorldServe until his supporter stopped giving, and when he stopped receiving a wage he continued to faithfully minister to prisoners as the denomination gave him what little they could spare so he and his family could eat. He gave us a letter thanking him from one of the prisoners who’d come to know Christ because Lucianno was there. Yesterday I shared his story with a donor on the phone as an example, and she decided to sponsor him along with 2 Chinese pastors, just like that! God has a plan to care for his people…and we really do get to be a part of it!!! The more people here I get to share these stories with, the more men and women like Lucianno will be provided for. Just think of the impact that could make!

I’m still raising support for myself here at WorldServe Ministries; I need 50 people to be giving $100 per month, and this is including all expenses. I know that God has a plan to provide for my needs as well as the needs of the Cuban and Chinese believers we’re working with…I also know that 50% of the people who receive this letter will respond. Has God chosen you to respond? I have enclosed a card should you choose to reply, and thank you for taking the time to read this even if you don’t. I would love to have you be involved in the evangelism, church planting and development that will be going on this year…hope to hear from you soon!

Sincerely,

Brianna Carson