There’s a hard way to do everything, and there’s an easy way to do everything. I’ve found the hard way is usually the way most people will tell you to do something. And the easy way is to get someone else to do it for you.
I know, I know…I seem like a jerk. But hear me out, you’ll agree with me by the end of this. Say I need a new job, right? The hard way to find a new job would be to look online, in newspapers, network, make connections, go on interviews…and man, that could take months. Years even. The easier way would be to tell everyone you know you’re looking for a job, and ask them to keep their eyes open for opportunities for you. The easiest (and best) way to find a new job is to make a list of the top 5-10 influential people you know, take them all out for coffee individually, ask each one what they see you doing as a career, take notes, ask them to keep an eye out for you…and then sit back and let them look for you. Know why they’ll look for you? Because a) you’ve demonstrated that you care about their opinion and have therefore flattered them, making them buy into your success as a person. And b) typically influential people are successful people, and you don’t get that way by being lazy; so they’ll go that extra mile more likely than not.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: relationships are the key to everything in the world. If you can make yourself a desirable friend to a lot of people, you’ve just made your life a whole lot easier. It takes effort to maintain relationships, but it’s what we’re meant to do, so it does end up being pretty fun. I’ve made a list of 5 simple ways to make yourself memorable, like a mini-celebrity. Use these tips and I guarantee that in a short time, you’ll get noticed, you’ll get complimented, and you’ll be the recipient of new opportunities never before available to you. Try them out, they’ll change your life!
5) Always look amazing. Dress any way you want, but make it look good and translate well with who you want to interact with. Wear clothes that fit, are flattering, and not too cheap, because cheap clothes are generally unflattering and don’t fit. If people don’t compliment you on how you look it’s probably because you don’t look great, so get some help from a friend who knows what he or she is doing or hire someone. I know it sounds materialistic (because it IS), but we all want to be around, work with and hire people who look good. So look good.
4) Show up…and then sometimes don’t. You can’t win the lottery if you don’t play, and you can’t meet new people if you’re at home watching tv. So when you get invited somewhere, show up. You’d be amazed at what can happen when you simply attend events. I’ve met so many current friends and business acquaintances at random parties and events. Compared to having people in my life who enrich it with their presence, going home and watching Grey’s Anatomy by myself is stupid anyway. Sometimes I don’t attend events due to previous plans though, and I always get reports back that people were asking for me, which is great. They wouldn’t get a chance to miss me if I were always around. It’s like dating!
3) Be fun, all the time. Of course we all go through tough times in our lives, but people are drawn to positive people. So if you’re going through a divorce and trying to promote your business or make new friends (same thing, really), maybe don’t do your best impression of Eyore. It’s depressing. By the way, I was in that situation so it can be done. Conversely, you don’t want to be the crazy fake happy person either. That’s a little much. Just smile, nod, laugh appropriately and keep it light.
2) Engage your audience. To have great conversations you have to be interesting. To be interesting you have to do stuff. So do the stuff that interests you, get out of the house, and then go out and be able to talk about it to strangers. But don’t. Instead, ask them what they’ve been doing. If when they’re done telling you, they’re polite enough to ask you what you’ve been up to, you’ll have something to say. If not…well, at least you did it. The most important thing to remember when you’re talking to new people is to listen. And then when it’s your turn, be witty and interesting so that the conversation can continue and they have another chance to talk. And you listen more.
1) Make whoever you’re talking to feel great. This is the most important thing. If you remember nothing else, remember this rule. Because all any of us wants in life is to feel good; it’s our motivation for everything. So think about it: what makes YOU feel good? Being listened to, being validated, being cared about. So do that for people. Ask questions and listen to the answers. Remember people’s names and specific things about them, then ask them about those things next time you see them. Smile at people. All business, relationships, networking, and socializing come down to this simple truth: if you make people feel good about themselves, they’ll love you. And when people love you, they’ll do anything for you.