In Case of Time Travel
I live in the time of computers. I blog, I text, I tweet, I facebook, I link in (kind of…I gave it my email address and it propositioned everyone in my address book, including random customers from years ago who didn’t remember me anymore…awkward…), I youtube, I google, I skype, I talk about SEO and google analytics to business owners at networking events, I use Babblefish, I heart my iPod, and my greatest material desire at the moment is a purple macbook. And an iPhone. Maybe it’s a tie. My most common position is sitting somewhere like the floor, on my couch or in my office chair tapping away at my laptop keyes. I do other things, it’s true…I just do this more.
So it occured to me this morning for maybe the thousandth time that maybe, just MAYBE this is too much. Like, maybe I’m giving myself cancer. And oatmeal brain. My brain seems ok, when I shake my head it doesn’t sound sloshy yet…but how do I know what’s going on in there? Or if there’s a tumour growing on one of my femurs from my laptop being perched on my lap all the time? A lady at my church swears her beeper gave her a tumour in her gut, and that’s just a beeper! (For everyone under 25, we used to have pagers (beepers) in the 80’s and 90’s that would tell people their messages. They weren’t phones though…it was like caveman times)
The other thing is that at the rate we’re progressing technology-wise, someone’s for sure going to invent a time-machine if they haven’t already. I mean, they have cars that parallel-park themselves, so time travel is naturally the next step. I see this as a serious problem. Because maybe the person time travelling will screw it up (they always do in movies, so I’m pretty sure that could happen), and get sent back to ye olden days when no one knew what a computer was and everyone did actual work. But the time-traveler won’t know anything about anything, ESPECIALLY without google. We are very quickly losing all of our life skills, and if we go back in time we’ll die.
The only thing to do is buy a gun and practice hunting small game, in case of accidental time-travel. That’s my plan anyway, right after I analyze my blog stats.
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